What is heart divorce?

In our book, My Heart Got Married And I didn’t Know It,  we use the term heart divorce to describe the break up of a long term relationship that was characterized by its’ length (long!), cohabitation (either full time or part time) and sexual intimacy that started early for the couple. Heart divorce is the intentional dissolution of a heart marriage. Why is heart divorce different from a regular breakup?  Couples who break up after many years together often experience the devastation, loneliness and heartache that legal divorce creates.  We propose that when long term relationships, or heart marriages, end- there needs to be a term to describe the situation that gives validity to the difficulty of the breakup.  This term allows the couple and their friends, family members or work associates- to provide better support and understand more clearly what has happened.  Read more about it in My Heart Got Married And I Didn’t Know It, available on www.amazon.com or www.myheartgotmarried.com

Lora & Barbara


Pre-nuptial vs. Pre-marital cohabitation: What’s the Difference?

There is actually a difference between pre-nuptial and pre-marital cohabitation!  And it is not just a game of semantics!  Pre-nuptial living together means the couple has set date for the wedding, the couple is officially engaged, the search is on for the dress and other details are being attended to – that compares to pre-marital or just plain old, straight up living together or cohabiting.  While this couple may hope marriage is in the future, there are no concrete plans to marry.  Statistically, it appears that couples who live together pre-nuptially have the same percentage of success in marriage as couples who did not cohabit. However, where the research shows trouble is for the serial cohabitor- those individuals who live with a succession of partners before marriage have higher rates of divorce.  In essence, these individuals may be heart married a number of times and consequently go through the difficult breakups we call heart divorces before marrying. It is these folks who have higher rates of divorce.

Something to think about….

Hope you are having a great weekend,

Lora & Barbara