Is Marriage Obsolete?

TIME magazine this week features a TIME/Pew Special Report with the cover asking in big red letters WHO NEEDS MARRIAGE? TIME takes an in depth look at the changing rates, statistics and expectations about marriage in the United States and the world in some instances.  TIME says, “What we found is that marriage, whatever its social, spiritual or symbolic appeal, is in purely practical terms just not as necessary as it used to be……yet marriage remains revered and desired.”(page 49, Nov. 29, 2010 issue)  The article also talks quite alot about cohabitation and makes this observation, “Cohabitation seems to have no negative effect on a marriage’s chances if it’s preceded by an engagement, no previous live-in lovers and no children.” (page 54)  This affirms one of the points in our book My Heart Got Married And I Didn’t Know It, that serial heart marriage relationships are not helpful in creating healthy relationship habits and can actually set the stage for divorce.

We’ll be blogging about this article for the next little bit-  hope you’ll check back in!

Lora & Barbara

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Heart Marriage — Stealing Your Youth!

Believe it or not some people actually stay in relationships for five, or seven or sometimes fifteen years beginning in their mid-twenties, only to have it NEVER result in marriage and a life long commitment. These folks are “heart married.” They are married in every way except the “paper-work.” Their break-ups feel exactly like a divorce — devastating and heart breaking. They are empty. Especially in cases where the female wants to have children — she is  now left wondering if that will ever happen. She is in her late thirties and she has seen her child-bearing years tick away while thinking “surely the proposal will come!” One lady told us that she felt like “her youth was stolen.”

Of course, you may be saying, “well its good they didn’t marry, have children and become another divorce statistic.” While that is true — it isn’t really the point! The point is that these relationships, nine times out of ten, have been signaling “danger” for a long time in many ways. In our book, My Heart Got Married And I Didn’t Know It, we talk about the danger signals, how to listen to them and steps that can be taken to stop this thief before it takes away too many years.

Check out our book on our website, myheartgotmarried.com. If you know someone in this situation, maybe you would want to give her a copy. You can buy it on-line!

Barbara and Lora