FAQ’s about Heart Marriage

In our book, My Heart Got Married And I Didn’t Know It, we introduce the term heart marriage to describe a relationship in which a couple is intimately bound together and practice the the behaviors of marriage without the intentional and articulated agreement between both parties to marry.  We have a section at the end of the book that has Frequently Asked Questions (and the answers!) about the concept of heart marriage. We wanted to share one of these with you today so here goes:

Are famous unmarried couples like Oprah and Stedman or Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell heart married?  If so, how have their relationships lasted so long and are you saying their relationships are unhappy?

No outsider looking in can say whether or not a couple is heart married. The phenomenon of heart marriage is one that needs to be determined by the couple in question. In the case of famous couples, only their friends and family truly know the details of the relationship.  Remember, too, that couples can be deeply bound together; even heart married , and not feel the need to get legally married.  These couples may be happy and content with the relationship as it stands.  Couples may be heart married and not have any of the signs they need a heart divorce.  More often, one of the individuals in the heart marriage will eventually desire to be legally married and the couple will have to navigate that shift in the relationship.

Hope you are having a fantastic Labor Day, thanks for checking in with us!

Lora & Barbara


2 Responses to “FAQ’s about Heart Marriage”

  1. janel8286 Says:

    I was really glad to see that faq! It helps to know that you guys aren’t saying that all long term unmarried couples are unhappy. Clearly, communication has to be ongoing whether a couple is married or not. Any chance you would blog any more faq’s or must we buy the book??!!

    • myheartgotmarried Says:


      We are glad that the FAQ was helpful in clearing up your question. We will definitely be posting other FAQ’s along the way — so keep blogging with us. We would love for you to buy the book, though. There are a number of real life examples that cover different situations. We recognize that some couples are very satisfied with their long term relationships and have no desire to marry. When that is the case, be happily “heart married!” However, we do believe that usually one person in the long term relationship eventually desires to marry legally, and our book discusses a couple of situations where couples very successfully transitioned from a “heart marriage” to a legal marriage. You can purchase our book on our website, http://www.myheartgotmarried.com and we will ship it free!

      Barbara & Lora

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